Everyday life jokes: travel, weather and neighbours

Clean jokes about autos, trains, power cuts, rain and the neighbourhood. Small troubles of daily life, seen from the funny side.

The auto driver's meter is out of order every day.
His arithmetic never is.
"I am just five minutes away" is not a time. It is a feeling.
On the day you dry clothes on the terrace, the rain remembers your address.
During a power cut, the whole colony meets on the balconies.
That is the real society meeting.
Map app: "You have arrived at your destination."
Me, standing in the middle of a field: "Which destination?"
The upper berth of a train:
climbing up is exercise, climbing down is courage.
I chose a gym close to my house so that I would have no excuse.
Now I take the long road home.
Taking a bath in winter is brave.
Taking one every day deserves a medal.
The bus said "Limited stops".
The stops turned out to be unlimited.
In a lift, everybody stands silent and watches the floor numbers,
as if it were a cricket score.
The shopkeeper never has change.
He has toffees.
Half our economy runs on two-rupee toffees.
The first rain of the season:
poets write poems, and I look for the one umbrella that still opens.
I joined a queue without knowing what it was for.
Three people have joined behind me.
Now I cannot leave. I have responsibilities.
The neighbour's drilling machine keeps strict hours.
Sunday, 7 am sharp.
The speed breaker near our house was built by somebody who has never been in a hurry.
I set five alarms, ten minutes apart.
My sleep took it as a snack break between naps.

Who this set suits

Society and colony groups, commuter friends, neighbours and anybody who has stood in a queue today. The subjects are autos, rain, power cuts, lifts and speed breakers: small troubles shared by the whole street, so nobody is the target.

How to tell them

These work best as a comment on what is actually happening. Send the power cut joke during the power cut, the rain joke when clothes are on the terrace, the "five minutes away" joke when a friend is late. Aloud, say them flatly, like a news report. The less you act, the better they land.

When to hold back

Not during real trouble. A rain joke is unkind on the day streets are flooded, and a power cut joke is not funny in a heat wave with a sick person at home. In a society group, make sure the drilling machine joke cannot be read as a complaint about a named neighbour.

More jokes

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