Group rules to copy

Do small groups really need rules?

A group of five close friends does not. Almost every other group does, and the sign is easy to spot: members have begun to mute it. People mute a group when they cannot predict what will arrive in it, at what hour, and whether a small remark will turn into an argument. Rules make a group predictable again. They are less about punishment than about telling everybody, once and politely, what this group is for.

How to introduce rules without a quarrel

Timing matters more than wording. Rules posted the morning after a fight look like a verdict on one person; rules posted on a quiet day look like housekeeping. Speak first to the two or three members everyone respects, and let one of them support the rules in the group. Explain the reason in one line, invite changes for a day or two, then pin the final version. Each page below adds advice for its own kind of group: who should post the rules in a family, why a society does better with two groups, and what an office group should never be used for.

When a rule is broken

Remind the whole group in general terms first. If it happens again, write to the person privately and assume a mistake, not bad intent. Act in public only as a last step, briefly and without debate. Ready words for each of these steps are on the admin announcements page, and the full approach is in how to be a good group admin.

What makes rules work

• Few. Nobody reads twenty rules. Nine is the most we use.
• Clear. "No forwards" works. "Please try to avoid unnecessary messages" does not.
• Fair. The same rule for the admin's friends as for everyone else.
• Visible. Pinned in the chat and summarised in the description.