Friends group rules

Rules for friends? Yes, light ones

Friends' groups do not break up over rules; they fade because of small irritations nobody mentions. One person's plans are always ignored. One person is teased a little too often. Two members argue for a hundred messages while six others mute the group. A few light rules, agreed with a laugh, name these irritations before they grow.

How to introduce them

Post them as a joke that happens to be true: "Constitution of this group, passed without voting." Invite amendments. Friends accept rules they have edited, so let people change the wording, add a silly clause and vote on it with a poll. Once agreed, pin the message. When someone breaks a rule, quote the rule number instead of scolding: "Rule 4, my friend" keeps it friendly.

The two that matter most

First, the screenshot rule: what is said in the group stays in the group. Friends speak freely only when they trust that their words will not travel. Second, the teasing rule: tease everyone equally, and stop when the person stops laughing. Most long friendships that ended in a group chat ended over one of these two.

If a real fight has already begun, read how to stop a fight in a group. If the group is merely quiet, post a conversation starter instead.

How to use these rules

1. Copy the rules and change any line that does not fit your group.
2. Post them in the group and pin the message, so that it stays at the top.
3. Put the one-line version in the group description. Ready lines are on the descriptions page.
4. When a rule is broken, remind the person privately first. See how to be a good admin.

Rules for other groups